Tinsel Teeth

Apartment Therapy

2008-10-14T18:12:00.002-04:00

I picked up the book "Apartment Therapy" a few weeks ago, and I've devoured it in its entirety multiple times already. It calls itself the 8-week home cure, so I'm putting it into therapy for a few months and will hope for the best.

I've lived in my apartment for nearly 7 years and I feel like much of that time has been spent waiting. Waiting for what? I have no idea. The right time? Enough money? The perfect apartment somewhere else? When I'm no longer renting?

I think my apartment is cute on occasion...when the lights are dimmed, a few candles are lit, but all in all, what I've realized from reading this book, is that it lacks vision. It also lacks proper investment by me--investment in both time and money.

(On a side note, with the way the economy is going, I know Suze Orman would tell me that I can't afford to invest any money right now in my rental apartment!)

I'm excited to start working on my home, which goes far beyond picking out paint color.

"When you work on your home, you are working on yourself, and when you change your home, you are changing yourself." -Apartment Therapy, Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan

I made it!

2008-02-18T13:05:00.003-05:00

This post has been a long time coming! I'm not sure why I haven't written in so long. Everytime I decided to post something, I just couldn't find anything interesting to say. The "newness" of braces wore off, I suppose.

I think I also knew that it was all going to end shortly. That I wouldn't have an excuse anymore. I couldn't say, "I'll do that as soon as these darn braces come off!" And, yes, I think that frightened me. It meant that if I didn't do whatever I set out to do, it wouldn't be my crooked teeth or braces that would be holding me back. It would be ME. That frightens me. A lot!

Today marks the two-week mark without braces. Woo-hoo! Yes, it is a fabulous feeling. It's that feeling that you dream about--like going to your high school reunion and turning heads. I believe I've turned a few these last few weeks.

I'm also learning how to deal with some of my habits that I've acquired over the, oh, say, 15 years. Like, um, well, not smiling! I can smile now. I don't have to hide my teeth. I don't have to look down and talk to the floor. I don't have to close my mouth for a photo. I can release all that tension. But, man, it does take concerted effort to RELEASE. It's like gaining a new habit, one smile at a time.

I'll leave you with this photo, but I hope to come back to visit this blog for a few more posts. What is holding you back? Let go.

Rubberbands are in the mouth!

2007-09-09T22:55:00.000-04:00

Are you as tired of looking at Scott Baio as I am?

Yeah, sorry about that! For the past two months I've been wearing my rubberbands (finally). We are really in the homestretch now. According to Dr. Newman, I should wear them 24 hours a day. In reality, I only wear them while sleeping, so let's say about 7-8 hours a day. I just can't bear wearing them to work, even though I know the process would go so much faster. But these rubber bands don't allow for much movement.

Dr. Newman was very impressed last month as my bite is so much better now. I have one more week until my next appointment and I feel like I need to step up my game a little bit in terms of wearing these rubber bands more. It's just that I'm afraid of becoming that weird dorky girl at work, you know? Or, that weird dorky girl walking down the street. Or, that weird dorky girl ordering a chai. Okay, you get my drift. But for now, I am totally comfortable being a dork in bed at night with the lights off!

Scott Baio is 45 and Single!

2007-07-23T21:18:00.000-04:00

So, I was flipping through the channels and came across yet another celebrity reality show on VH1. Scott Baio. Remember Charles in Charge? Wow, what a hunk! Well, I guess he's looking for a wife or something and the bit that I caught was him describing his ideal woman. A 5'4" redhead with braces!

Um, okay, just kidding.

I think he mentioned "blond" in there somewhere, and maybe just a touch of "great body". But what got my attention was that he said he liked imperfect teeth. Scott Baio, what does that mean? And how come I didn't know this before I got braces?

But, seriously, I've got Cab--Scott Baio's got nothing on him!

I think in general lots of people are into imperfection...in other people. It's what makes a person unique. Embracing that imperfection in yourself is what's difficult, but when you do, you scream confident, sexy and attractive. What could be better than that?

The Case of the Missing Blue Dot

2007-07-14T16:12:00.000-04:00

What a whirlwind week in terms of braces progress! And it was completely unexpected, which made it whirl even more!

After a several months hiatus without Dr. Newman, we were brought back together.

The first thing he said to me: "Have you been wearing your rubber bands?"

"Um, no, I never got rubber bands," I said.

"Well, let's take a look. Okay, bite down. Bite again. Bite on your back teeth. Hmmm..."

I lie there with my mouth wide open while he's investigating and squinting and poking. My teeth are pretty much there in terms of being "straight." It's just that my "bite" hasn't been cooperating. As Dr. Newman peered into my near-gorgeous mouth, he solved the mystery of Brandy's Imperfect Bite. You see, I have this oddly-shaped tooth that's been interfering with everything and makes my jaw shift to compensate. Therefore, Dr. Newman pulled out this fancy whirring and whizzing tool and shaved a little bit off the sucker and now my bite is SO MUCH better. So much.

He pulled Dr. M over to take a look. They did some ortho speak, but all I could hear was, "and then we can take these off, young lady." Whoa. Butterflies. I got a little nervous.

I still say that when you're in that chair and all these metal utensils are looming, it's hard to ask lots of questions--like "why did you just pop a bracket off my front tooth and put a new one on?" Which is precisely what Dr. Newman did. It looks pretty much the same as my old bracket, just shinier. After he strung the wires through and sent me on my way, I was still reeling with anticipation. I headed for the bathroom like I always do just to make sure I don't look like a total disaster. I smiled big and there was this big blue dot on my new front bracket. I stared at myself in horror.

By now, if you've been reading this blog regularly, or if you know me, you know that I did not go back to Dr. Newman and demand he fix the blue-dotted bracket. I just made my next appointment and went on my way. Stopped for Chai. Met up with a friend and told her the good news and then pointed out my blue dot. "What blue dot? I don't see a blue dot." I thought she was just being nice and said, "Oh, it's there."

When I got home, looked at myself in the mirror, I was convinced of the magical powers of Chai. It had erased my blue dot.

Troublemaker

2007-06-12T22:55:00.000-04:00

Another orthodontist's appointment down this week...and not that much closer to knowing when these things are coming off. I'm soooo close, but just not there yet. This marked the fifth week since my last visit and it's amazing what an extra week can do to you! I walked in and everything seemed a little foreign to me, like I hadn't been there in years.

When it was my turn to get in the "chair," the very nice and funny assistant asked me if I wouldn't mind a silver tie (instead of clear) on my "problem child" tooth. I just looked at her and said, "No, I can't do silver." She looked at me with wide eyes. "I'm just kidding!" I said. For some reason I was in a goofy mood that day. "You know, you scared me for a second," she said. I'm usually such a good and quiet patient. I don't cause a ruckus. I let them do crazy things to me and I just sit back with a smile.

She added some new ties and sent me on my way. When I went to make my next appointment (4 weeks, thankfully!), the woman at the front desk said, "There's my Brandy! Such a sweetheart!" The assistant piped up with, "If you could have heard her today!" Uh-oh, I don't want to start getting a reputation. I kept saying, "No, no, really, I was just kidding!" "Right! Sure you were!" she said. At least I livened things up a bit!

The interesting thing is that my teeth are still shifting, even they look really darn straight. But my bite is ever changing and I think that's what we're all waiting on. I've also noticed the appearance of cheekbones lately. I'm not sure if it's possible for someone's jaw to narrow, but if it is, then that's what mine seems to be doing. And, as a result, I am constantly surprised by this shadow that shows up on my face highlighting my cheekbones. This combined with the fact that last week a stranger told me I had amazingly high cheekbones has me convinced.

Till next time...

Well...

2007-05-30T18:10:00.000-04:00

I was hoping that this post would reveal my fresh new smile. And, so, I waited and waited...and waited until I could deliver the big news, but, alas, I'm still not ready to deliver. There was no more mention of the rubber bands either, and I've been back to the orthodontist twice since then. Each time I sat in the chair I told myself to speak up and ask, "So, what's the ETA on these suckers?" And everytime I chickened out, afraid that Dr. M would say, "6 months" or even "a year." I go back in again for another appointment in 1 1/2 weeks and I've promised myself (again) that I'll ask!

If you've been a regular around here, you might remember the very stylish "French but really Polish" girl I met with braces last Fall--one of Cab's friends. Well, Cab ran into her last week at an art gallery and she, too, still had braces. It turns out that her orthodontist told her the same thing--it'll only take a year, but now it's been a year and a half!

For months now Girl Ray has been trying to get me to watch this interview of Liv Tyler on Conan O'Brien. So...she finally wrangled me into her apartment last week and sat me down in front of the TV. She said that Liv Tyler reminded her of me. It had never really occurred to me that I might have Liv Tyler's "essence," but within a few minutes, I was convinced. I mean, we already both have dads who are rock stars! And, of course, why would I be writing about this on Tinsel Teeth if it didn't have something to do with braces, right? Yes, Liv Tyler had/has braces. Well, Invisalign to be exact. And, she, too said that the orthodontist told her it would take a year, and two years later...well, you get the picture! (By the way, it was very hard to find a photo of Liv Tyler with an open mouth smile!)

So, it's official--there's some kind of conspiracy amongst orthodontists. They convince all us adults that "it's only a year" and we snatch up the bait, get these big metal wires on our teeth and we're stuck! I'm actually secretly thankful for the conspiracy--sometimes you need someone to pull the wool over your eyes in order to get things done!

On the Fast Track

2007-03-30T22:01:00.000-04:00

This past Tuesday was my one-year marker with braces. So, yes, soon! This week Dr. Newman asked if I could come back in two weeks and when I made my appointment, the assistant said, "Oh, he's got you on the fast track!" I knew that had to be a good sign. Dr. Newman also mentioned that next time I would be getting rubber bands. I've been able to deal with nearly everything with a smile on my face, but rubber bands? I'm not so sure about that. I did a little research about them and at least one source said that rubber bands come at the end of treatment and help to align the teeth in a way that braces alone can't. Even if it's not my cup of tea, I'm still going to have to wear them so I might as well get over it! I wasn't confident enough to ask him for an estimate on getting these things off, though. The closer it gets, the more nervous I get!

Quote of the Day

2007-03-21T13:59:00.000-04:00

Give someone your smile. Regardless of how many they've received today, they need yours.

- from Life's Little Instructions

Updates

2007-03-06T22:13:00.000-05:00

I'm embarrassed that I haven't posted in so long. I'm embarrassed because it's not like I didn't have anything to write about. I just didn't write. I was afraid I had forgotten my password. But, I didn't, so here we are.

The one year marker is coming up very soon--like 3 weeks soon. One year. This is when I was promised perfect teeth, right? Today I had an orthodontist appointment and my plan was to ask, "how much longer?" But I chickened out. I was afraid he'd say something outrageous like "3 more months." I just didn't want to think that way. What Dr. Newman did say is, "Brandy, how about coming back in 3 weeks? Let's try to move this along a little quicker." Now that's what I like to hear! I'm almost there. Just a few more nudges.
All in the Family: My brother got his wisdom teeth taken out last week. Al l four at once. It was the first time he'd been to the dentist in at least 5 years. Probably 10. We are not a family known for regular dentist's visits. So, in addition to a teeth cleaning and wisdom teeth extraction, there is the possibility that my bro might be getting braces as well. I think he saw mine and thought, that's not so bad. Yay, yay, yay! I hope he does. It just so happens that braces are also about half the price in the South.
Speaking of price, I officially paid off my braces today. Really. Totally. Finished. No braces debt. Wow, that feels good!
I've already started planning my "Smile Party" in my mind. Start practicing your smile--I am!

2007-01-21T21:42:00.000-05:00

I saw GirlRay's play on Friday night and happened to go the same night as a few of her other friends. I sat next to a girl whom I had met once before--pre-braces. She started asking me about my braces and then was showing me her teeth. She said that she had a triangular bite. We all have something, huh? It seemed that she had thought about getting braces, too, but something was holding her back. Then she asked me, "Were you ever worried about not being attractive?" I think this is the worry of every single female adult who is contemplating braces. Will I look like Ugly Betty? "Yes," I told her. I really wanted Invisalign, but the cost and length of time (over double the time of what regular braces take) made me choose my present situation. "The funny thing is," I said, "I feel so much more attractive now with braces than I did before." I feel empowered somehow. I found myself becoming a braces "pusher." Come on, you'll love them--don't worry, they're great! But, seriously, they're SO worth it. And they can drastically imrove your dating life! Maybe they should come up with "fake" braces--like fake eyeglasses...for when you want a new look.

I'm ready for my close-up

2007-01-16T11:19:00.000-05:00

This is a picture taken at my company's holiday party back in December. I had brought my camera just in case, but never thought it would be turned around on me! Cab and I were sitting at the table and he took a photo of the two of us. Without thinking, I smiled big, and then there it was...my big mouth! I kept looking at the picture saying, "my mouth is so big." But from there, I just kept going, smiling big for tons of pics. It was so liberating because for as long as I can remember, I always had these close-mouthed smiles--like I was hiding something, which I was. Hopefully I'll learn to open up and smile big in other ways, too.

The Blog Drought

2006-11-29T09:33:00.000-05:00

Man is it dry around here!

The woman who served up my chai today had braces. Why does it seem that lately I feel like everyone with braces looks a whole lot better than me?

It's starting to get harder to say "s" at the moment, especially when it occurs in the middle or end of sentences. My bite is ever changing and, with it, my speech. I'm slightly worried, but there's still more time. I'm thinking of taking a voice class come Jan/Feb just to get things working again.

If everything goes as planned I will get my braces off in 4 months. Yikes! I've already starting planning in my mind the next steps--teeth whitening (the Crest Whitestrips will soon have a flat surface to adhere to!), and some possible tooth shaping since I have a few oddly shaped teeth.

Well, that's it for now, kids! Me and my braces are off to enjoy some chai!

I had a dream last night...

2006-11-16T14:35:00.000-05:00

...about my braces. In the dream I said, "This is totally going in my blog!"

And now, alas, I can't remember anything else. This is going to drive me crazy!

Hot Child in the City

2006-11-08T10:53:00.000-05:00

GirlRay found the Sex and the City episode of when Miranda gets braces and let me borrow it recently. Apparently she was a tongue thruster--Miranda, not GirlRay. I was waiting to watch it until I bought a DVD player, but I broke down this weekend and put the disc into my laptop. So funny. People have been mentioning this episode to me ever since I got braces. "You know, Miranda on Sex and the City had braces," they would say.

Miranda: This is what happens to tongue thrusters. I have to wear them for a year. Am I hideous?
Carrie: No. Hey... no. No, they don't look so bad.
Miranda: Really? You mean it?
Carrie: That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
Samantha: Are you in pain? I'm in pain just looking at you.
Miranda: I'm a 34-year-old woman with braces and I'm on a liquid diet -- pain doesn't begin to cover it.

Of course, my favorite part is when she goes out on a first date with the cute boy from the cafeteria and gets brown goop stuck all in the front of her braces without knowing. Dear Lord, please let this never happen to me! Though, I must admit I am getting more comfortable eating with Cab. Just the other day I had a huge piece of escarole stuck in my braces and went fishing it out with my fingers.

Yesterday morning in the midst of doing my laundry I noticed that another one of my brackets fell off. I must have swallowed it in my sleep (oh, dear!). I just so happened to have my regularly scheduled appointment yesterday as well so the timing was perfect. When I walked in the office, it was overrun by kids under 13. It was a madhouse--they were everywhere, on the floor wrestling, doubled up in chairs, well, you get the picture. When I got in to the orthodontist's chair, one of the assistants said she always feels bad for me because it's me and a bunch of kids. "There are adults that come here, I promise," she said. I told Dr. Newman about the bracket and he said we were probably fine without it since my bottom teeth are pretty much straight. It's the top teeth that's got some work to do. It was the least painful visit I've ever had I think. He didn't even change the wires. He said he tightened them, though. I think things are coming along nicely and hopefully only 5 more months to go!

A Year Too Late

2006-10-20T12:32:00.000-04:00

I was going through my date planner/scheduler the other day and noticed I had made a consultation with an orthodontist back in October 2005. He happened to be in my neighborhood and had a pretty informative website (if not completely disorganized and overwhelming!). When I went in for the consultation, he made me feel uncomfortable, like he was trying to sell himself a little too hard. He didn't have an assistant (apparently she had quit). He told me that I would absolutely be a candidate for Invisalign--except he didn't use Invisalign, he used some other brand that was similar (and he said it was better). At the end of the consultation, he offered to give me the phone number of one of his patients, just in case I had questions or needed a reference. I declined. He said he would call within a week to follow up. He never did.

It wasn't for another three months that I got a referral to my current orthodontist (Dr. M), from a friend, when things started to happen. It took nearly two months after that until I actually got braces. It's amazing how time can slip away from you! I remember telling Dr. M that this was my second consultation. He asked me who I had seen previously and when I mentioned the orthodontist's name, Dr. M said, "Whatever you do, do not go back to that guy. If you don't want to go with me, let me refer you to someone else." He was adamant. It frightened me a bit. What if I had gone with that guy? How do you really truly know what you're getting into?

This morning I got a voicemail from that initial orthodontist--I guess he found an assistant. She asked if I was still interested in getting braces and if she didn't hear from me in a week, she would discard my paperwork. One year later. Life works in mysterious ways!

Something to Smile About

2006-10-15T10:53:00.000-04:00

This past week was pretty rough at work, more so than usual--so it is no surprise that I had to get a good dose of chai to push through it. There are about two Starbucks on every block near where I work (I guess lots of people need their chai!). But there's a very tiny, very busy one that's somehow come to be my favorite. People there are generally so friendly and happy and fun and I knew that this was exactly the place I needed to go to for my chai this week.

While I was waiting for my chai to get made, the guy who took my order came up to me and said, "I just wanted to tell you, you have a beautiful smile." I smiled big and blushed. "Even with the braces?" I said. "Especially with the braces--it shows you're taking care of yourself," he said. Then he gave me my chai (which just so happened to be much bigger than the one I had ordered...). I thanked him, still smiling, and told him to have a great day. The great thing about it was that he wasn't being sleazy or forward, just genuine. I think that's what I really needed--a good dose of genuine--to push through the week.

Getting out of the comfort zone

2006-10-01T18:06:00.000-04:00

Before teaching yoga class last Tuesday I went into the orthodontist's to have a band put around one of my teeth--the one that lost the bracket. I wasn't exactly sure what this band would be like, but I imagined it being small and stretchy for some reason. It was actually large and metal and when the orthodontist (Dr. M) showed it to me before putting it on, my heart just sank. He took the wire off the brackets and was fiddling around here and there. I never know quite what they're doing as I'm lying back in the chair with my mouth wide open.

At a certain point my tongue got a chance to graze my teeth very briefly and something felt out of place--or, rather, not there at all. I said to Dr. M, "Did another bracket fall off?" "Oh, yeah," he said, "I mistakenly took it off...I guess we'll have to put a band around that tooth as well." It is just not a good idea to get upset with someone who is fooling around in your mouth with sharp objects. Not only did my heart sink, but I felt an ache in the pit of my stomach. Things seemed to be taking a terrible turn for the worse.

He put more spacers between my teeth--for the tooth that is also soon to be banded. The spacers hurt, my gums bled. Not a pretty picture. Then he finally put the band on the original problem child tooth. Thankfully it is in the back of my mouth, but this thing is about twice the size of the brackets and basically encompasses the whole tooth. Having one band is okay...but having to get another one in a few weeks...well, I'm not so okay with that.

As Dr. M was finishing up, Dr. Newman walked in and asked to take a look. So I smiled big and he's looking, investigating and says they're coming along. The visit was pretty unpleasant, I must admit. I stopped off in the bathroom before leaving so that I could check out this new and large contraption in my mouth. As I smiled in the mirror, I noticed a rather large amount of congealed blood stuck between one of my brackets and my tooth. I was so angry. Was anyone going to mention this to me before I left the office? Dr. Newman looked so intently at my teeth and didn't say a word. Nothing from any of the assistants... It took a while for me to get the blood out of there, but it was finally gone. It was the first time I left the orthodontist's office without a big smile on my face.

As I walked from the office to my yoga class, I realized how comfortable I had gotten with the way things were. But movement and change usually don't happen when you stay as is, in your comfort zone. Things begin to shift in the uncomfortable, or even painful, moments. These are the places you don't want to be and generally the feelings you would rather not feel. And, yet, they are also the greatest opportunities for change and growth.

Uh-oh...

2006-09-22T16:15:00.000-04:00

This week marked my first official braces "emergency." At some point early in the week I noticed that one of my upper brackets was loose and just hanging out, sliding along the wire. It didn't seem like such a big deal, so I ignored it. Until Wednesday when I was eating lunch and the bracket was spinning around with my food. That's when I thought, "Hmmm...this is probably not supposed to happen." I called the orthodontist's office and was told that it would "only get worse."

The next morning I scheduled to go into the orthodontist's upper eastside office. I typically go to the one downtown near NYU. When I stepped into the office, I was greeted by 4 receptionists (instead of one) and an entire wall of color-coded files that looked more like an art installation than a filing system. To my right was a life-sized playhouse and an arcade room. Yes, you read that correctly: an arcade room (complete with Ms. PacMan)! As opposed to the shoebox of an office I am used to, this was a mansion. I had never seen anything quite like it. I told one of the receptionists my name and she said, "Oh, yes, you're the emergency. Have a seat." So, I sat and waited for 30 minutes before I was taken back through the long and winding hallway painted like a fairy tale castle.

The bracket that had come unattached was on a tooth with a filling and after the doctor took a look at it, he said he was surprised it had stayed on as long as it had. There were two options--either put another bracket on, or put a band around tooth. He said that he typically tries to keep his adult patients away from bands, but in this case it was probably the best option. But, before the band could go on, I had to, once again, get plastic "spacers" between my teeth to add extra room. The assistant was very gentle and when everything was finished, she asked if I felt okay. I said yes, but decided to mention that the wire was cutting into my cheeks on the right side. It was very small, but I figured it was worth a shot to mention. She said that even something that tiny can become very painful and she was able to cut it off.

So, now I have to go back in to the office next week to get the band put on. I'm not even exactly sure what that will entail and am annoyed now because I was getting used to things the way they were. I'm also a bit annoyed because I feel like this may set me back a few weeks in terms of getting my braces off.

PS--I wrote this post last week so please change any references of "this week" to "last week" and stay tuned...there is more to this developing story!

A year in the life of a 30-year old woman with braces

2006-09-15T08:50:00.000-04:00

There's something poignant about having braces whilst turning 30. Turning 30 is a milestone--a point some people celebrate, some people dread. It's a point to take a step back, evaluate the past and then use the wisdom gained to step over the threshold from 20's to 30's. 30 doesn't feel so much different from 29. Though, this morning I did stop to smell the roses, literally.

For half of my 30th year I'll have braces and hopefully for the other half I won't. Braces do make me feel and look younger. Maybe this is why turning 30 isn't so bad. Braces make me feel like I'm a work in progress--and it's out there for the world to see, without shame. Isn't that what we all are, though, at all times? People in progress? There's never a time when we've figured it all out, or when we will figure it all out. I hope there will be many more adventures in my future--just like this year with braces.

Whether you're 30 yet or not, I wish many crazy, wild and spontaneous adventures in your future as well. follow your heart. it will never lead you astray

Raw Fish Without Raw Cheeks

2006-09-13T16:22:00.000-04:00

Last week the pain of the wires sticking into my cheeks was unbearable so I ended up making an emergency trip to the orthodontist. It just so happened that the office was closed for vacation, but there was one assistant there who was able to help me. She clipped the wires down, gave me more wax and also offered to put some sort of numbing gel on my cheeks. I was a little wary of the stuff so she gave me a packet just in case.

Last week was also a week of fancy dinners and I wanted to be able to enjoy them without the pain and annoyance of these darn wires poking me. First stop was Nobu for my co-worker's farewell dinner (I'll miss you, Aldin!). Up until Thursday raw fish was not my thing. I tried a spicy tuna roll once a long long time ago and just couldn't deal with the texture, so from then on it's been mostly sweet potato and avocado rolls for me. But I figured that since I was going to Nobu, of all places, I might as well try the sushi and sashimi. For the most part, the raw fish went down pretty well.

The following day I took Cab to Mas for his birthday and we ended up getting the tasting menu. This is always a good option when fancy restaurants aren't a normal part of one's life--this way you can just take a taste of a lot of different kinds of dishes. The first thing we had was some type of raw white fish and, thanks to Nobu, I was able to eat it.

It's so much easier and more pleasant to eat without wires poking into my mouth! I should have had those things clipped weeks ago...

What do you get when you cross one French Asian woman, a Norwegian world-traveler and a bunch of North Dakotans?

2006-09-04T11:45:00.000-04:00

My roommate, K, is from North Dakota--of Scandinavian descent. As I've been learning over the past few months, her family is comprised of rock stars! Her aunt runs the largest Scandinavian Festival in the country. The festival is so big that it's her full-time year-round job. Her sister, C, is a fashion designer, has appeared as a commentator on shows like "E's Celebrity Weddings" and is Liza Minelli's assistant (hence, why Liza is performing at the largest Scandinavian Festival in the country this year...). C's boyfriend also works for Liza and used to be a weatherman on a local North Dakota news show. And, my roommate isn't too shabby herself--sweaters she knit the first few months she lived here were sold at Barney's this summer (yep, they're all sold-out!).

So, this is just a little background for my Labor-Day Weekend story. K's cousin was in town this weekend from North Dakota. I was invited to the cousin's birthday party at Alice's Tea Cup Saturday night. In addition to K, her sister C and C's boyfriend, there was also a French Asian woman at the table who designs lingerie for Calvin Klein and a perfume designer from Norway who met the family at the Scandinavian Festival one year. A little later came B, another one of my roommate's cousins, who is studying business journalism at NYU.

So, there we were drinking tea (no worries, I had the silver needle jasmine white tea!), eating scones, talking about the big festival, memories of North Dakota, you get the drift. B was sitting next to me and asked me what I did...which is a whole bunch of disconnected things. As we're talking I'm thinking to myself, "Does this guy have braces?" When he talked, he didn't open his mouth very wide and I could have sworn I could see glints of silver shooting out from his bottom lip. He asked me if I had ever been to North Dakota. To which I replied, "Yes, once on tour." Then we got into the whole acting thing. He asked me how that was going. I told him it wasn't. Then tried to explain the whole braces thing and my hopes and dreams for the future. That's when, sure enough, he says, "Yeah, me, too...see" and then opens wide. I asked him if he found that he was meeting tons of people with braces. He said, No, this was his first time. I thought this was strange since he's getting his braces off in a month. Everywhere I go--dinners with strangers, tango class, even the lady servin' up my chai has braces. As GirlRay said, "You are a magnet for people with braces."

Another thought came over me as I sat there that night. When you've only been to North Dakota once for the weekend, and you don't design anything major like lingerie or perfume, there's not that much to contribute to the conversation. Looking around the table, listening to the many stories they had to tell, I suddenly became entranced by everyone's teeth. All these strangers with straight teeth--and each one had a different version of straight teeth. My roommate has one slight snaggle tooth, which she pointed out to me, but I probably wouldn't have noticed otherwise. Her cousin's two front teeth overlapped slightly. The guys' teeth were both the same--straight and all the same length. But it was my roommate's sister's teeth that I decided I wanted. Her two front teeth were slightly longer than the rest. The shape and size of her teeth seemed in perfect proportion to her features. That's when I realized that I not only want straight teeth, but I am also envisioning myself with the perfect kind of straight teeth. This is why I think I sometimes get nervous at the thought of getting my braces off. Granted, my teeth will be straight, but what if they don't look the way I want them to look?

Wax On, Wax Off

2006-08-28T17:55:00.000-04:00

I'm just going to apologize up front if it seems like I'm complaining in this post. So, here goes...

This has definitely been one of the worst months in terms of pain and general discomfort for my braces. I'm tempted to go back to the orthodontist before my September 12th appointment. It is mostly due to Dr. Newman's lack of quality control when he put the wire in and now I'm suffering big time.

Basically just imagine a metal wire poking into your cheeks (yes, both sides) for a month. Dr. Newman should have filed this down, but he didn't really see the need. I've been putting wax on the very tip of the wire so that it hurts less, but now I'm down to the last of it and still have two weeks to go. Everytime I eat, the wax comes off, naturally. I've been pretty good about catching it before I swallow it, but there have been a few unfortunate incidents.

I think I'm just generally annoyed with some of the restrictions of having braces (and "clear" braces at that...). Listy-loo made sweet iced tea (my favorite!) for her little boy's b-day party and I could barely drink it for fear of staining my braces (I'm going to have to start carrying around a bottle of water and straws from now on!). I was at the party wondering to myself, "Do I have gunk all over my braces?"

Today I actually spent the whole day without the wax on--and even taught yoga with the wires poking into cheeks, just to see if I could feasibly manage it this way. Maybe one day with wax, one day without wax for the next two weeks.

Yes, this is what I spend a large portion of my day thinking about--should I wax or should I not wax?

The Top 10 Things I Love About Having Braces

2006-08-23T22:46:00.000-04:00

1. it's a reason to have a blog

2. i will have straight teeth when this whole thing is said and done

3. it gives me a sense of accomplishment to finally cross it off my "to-do" list

4. learning to love split pea soup

5. discovering the joy of drinking everything through a straw

6. trying fun new dental hygiene products

7. at work i can cover up the fact that I'm bringing a tampon to the bathroom by also bringing my toothbrush

8. getting picked up at a bar with the line "are you into heavy metal?"

9. it makes me unique (well, sort of)

10. practicing my smile in the mirror when I'm all alone

Spicy

2006-08-20T13:56:00.000-04:00

Last night cute architect boy ("cab") and I went out to a kosher Indian vegetarian restaurant, Pongal in "Curry Hill." My suggestion had originally been Vatan, also Indian vegetarian. I've been to Vatan twice and it's a really cool experience. Because it's so cool, you need a reservation, as cab and I found out...hence, the move to Pongal. The food was really delicious and reminded me of my yoga teacher training days. About once a month for nine months we would meet for these (very) long training weekends. Every Saturday night we would all have dinner together in the yoga studio. Usually we ordered from Zen Palate, but, on occasion, we would order Indian vegetarian as a special treat. We would get these huge crepes stuffed with potatoes and onions and then there were all these special dipping sauces and soups. Last night that's exactly what we had and it made me feel like chanting "Sat Nam" aloud right there at the table--especially when we found ourselves seated next to a group of young Sikh men in turbans. I wanted everyone to join in a special yoga prayer. Luckily for all involved, including me, I ate my dinner in bliss and kept quiet. There was one slight mishap during dinner, when I suddenly noticed the wax I had put on my braces wire was no longer there. It must have blended with the potatoes and made it's way into my stomach. A little horrifying, but I managed to keep my cool.

During dinner cab got a phone call from one of his best friends, marc—a Frenchman now living in London. He was in town for the week on business and had invited cab out for the evening (along with other friends). I was nervous thinking about the prospect of meeting a whole group of cab's friends. I mean, I'm shy...and I have braces. On the ride up to the upper west side I tried to pump myself up a little bit, telling myself to relax and convincing myself that, yes, I could do this.

So, there we were, at Cafe Frida. We walked up to a full table and I met them all, one at a time. There was, of course, marc. Next to him: monica (marc's ex-girlfriend), who I thought was french the whole time, but later learned was actually polish; then maria, who was from greece; jessie, from new zealand; and nikki, from new jersey. All I could think at that moment was, "at least I'm sitting next to the jersey girl!" They had all just sat down for dinner as we arrived. The waiter asked us if we wanted fresh guacamole. "Yes." Then he asked, "Spicy, medium, or mild?" To that, sexy french (but really polish) monica announced very fabulously with a big smile, "Spicy!"

And there it was--a shock to my entire system--a feeling that I had entered some sort of dream-like state. Could it be true? Was sexy french fabulous monica...an AWB? The restaurant was dark and I had had a glass of wine, but, yes, it was true, she had braces! It was hard for me to take my eyes off of her. She was so graceful. Her mouth did not seem awkward or tense. I wanted to say to her, "I have braces, too!" but I'm sure she already noticed. To see her eat the guacamole, I thought to myself, "here's someone who knows what I have to go through." No chips! Absolutely no chips allowed. So she delicately spooned the guacamole and ate it plain, and didn't once complain or fret that she wanted a chip like every other normal adult in the restaurant. For her entree she ordered salmon--soft and easy to eat! Yes! Yes! Yes! That's what I would have ordered, too. I noticed at one point she got something caught in her braces and very gracefully and delicately, she fished it out with her napkin. It was beautiful.

At the end of the night, after we said goodbye to everyone, cab said, "did you notice monica had braces, too?" "Yes, it was amazing," I replied. "I wanted to be her best friend, right then and there." Cab said that while I was in the bathroom, sexy french (but really polish) monica said to him, "i'm so grateful someone else has braces, too."

Horoscopes and Healing

2006-08-19T16:11:00.000-04:00

A quote from my Free Will Astrology horoscope this week:

"...that meant we were utterly free to reinvent ourselves. Living amidst the emptiness, we had nowhere to go but up. What remained was alienating, but it was also fresh."

As I was walking around Brooklyn today, spending time with a friend, stopping at the GreenMarket and admiring the abundance of fresh tomatoes and peaches, I had a moment (a brief moment, mind you, but definitely a moment) of clarity. It was so clear to me that I was on a journey. For a while now (and I won't say how long, because I'm not even that sure myself) I've felt a little lost. I've thought to myself, "I don't mind being on a journey, as long as I know where I'm heading--as long as there's a goal I'm moving towards." That's where the problem lies. This "lost" feeling has come from not seeing the goal in front of me. Today, in that brief moment, I realized that my goal has been there all along--I just haven't seen it. Before I can move forward, I just have to be. Be here, now, in the present moment, and see and feel everything that is right in front of me. That is my goal that I'm journeying towards. I've been so worried about wasting all this time not working towards some end result...being ancy and itchy in my own skin not wanting to be here...but be there (and really hoping that one day soon I would figure out where there was so that I could start doing something about it).

You may start to wonder what this has to do with me having braces. At some moments, I've felt like having a blog is a way for me to just be...with braces. Braces are totally about the end result. The end product. I could spend my time fretting over this result--only 7 more months to go...what will I look like?...will I then finally make it in a commercial?...or will I never audition again?...what will happen to my life in March 2007? Everything? Nothing?

I think back to the summer 2005--a "lost summer" I like to call it because I was really lost. I had just spent 9 months going through yoga teacher training. I was (finally) a certified yoga teacher and could now create the life I had envisioned for myself. Teaching yoga and being an actress. What a perfect day job, right? Only one problem--being a yoga teacher was kind of like being an actor. You still have to "audition" for spots and it is really competitive to get teaching gigs...and the pay is next to nothing.

As my perfect life seemed to crumble around me, I thought this was the time to step out of the box. I ended up going to a Sat Nam Rasayan healer, Guru Dev Singh. Sat Nam Rasayan is a healing modality linked with Kundalini yoga. I am no expert about how it works and it is not an immediate curing type of healing. It's the type of healing with "homework." Everyone's experience is different. I went into the room where Guru Dev sat. He is a big tall guy from Mexico who now calls Italy home. He told me to sit and said, "What's up?" I had this big speech planned for him...everything that was going on in my life and how I had no clue what to do...and how I felt like the world was falling apart. But all I could say was "I don't know...I don't know." He told me to lie down and breathe and for 30 minutes he put his hand on my wrist. When he was finished, he told me my prognosis and gave me a meditation to do. He told me to do this meditation everyday, 31 minutes a day, for 120 days straight. Then he said, in his Mexican/Italian accent, "You do this. It will change your life." So, on September 15th 2005, I began my meditation and did it everyday for 120 days.

A few weeks after I finished the meditation, I made an appointment for a consultation with an orthodontist. I can't say whether the two are related or it's just a coincidence. I know that crooked teeth has plagued me much of my adult life. I have never felt truly beautiful and I have never felt truly free to be myself. I started considering having braces as a year "hiatus" from my life, but in reality, ever since I got braces, I have been living fully and truly into my life. I have been experiencing new worlds and adventures. I have tried new things. Drawing. Tango. Boys(!). I have been reading voraciously when before it took me 6 months to get through one book. My apartment has never been cleaner. And I haven't had as many cute skirts in my closet until now.

It's hard to find a closing to this (rather personal) post, but as I look up on my wall, I see the following quote:

"Any moment can bring an awakening to what really matters".

And, if you're interested in knowing more about Sat Nam Rasayan healing, just ask and I'll be happy to offer up the details!

The Cons: An Amendment

2006-08-19T15:59:00.000-04:00

#11: Getting the sides of my teeth filed down

This happened on Tuesday and is definitely a con. For those of you thinking of trying it, I would warn against it. But, it was either this or getting teeth pulled. I'm glad I still have all my teeth--even if some of them are now forever smaller than they were. Again, I bled. Don't worry, I won't go into details. For a few days afterwards I had to take pain killers it was that bad. I usually try to ride it out, but not this time.

Dr. Newman (and, yes, I must admit, in the middle of the process I glanced for a wedding ring...and saw a big gold band) filed my teeth and told me it would be about two months before the spaces completely disappeared. Honestly, I don't see any spaces--not unless I look really hard. He put another wire in and, man, was he clumsy. He actually pinched my lips with the pliers and I had to physically move them away before he even noticed. At the end of the session I told him the wire was sticking me in the back of my mouth and after putting his finger back there, he said, "I don't really notice anything." I told him it was very small, but it was definitely poking into my cheek. He had no solution and I was, for some reason, afraid to tell him what the assistants usually do in this case. So, now, I have a little over 3 weeks until my next appointment and my cheeks are a total mess. I've put enough wax back there to make my own candle. Everytime I eat the wax gets dislodged and comes out. Next time, Dr. Newman, next time...I won't be so nice!

My List: the cons

2006-08-14T17:28:00.000-04:00

Inspired by Listy-loo, I thought I'd make a list of the things I like about having braces and the things I don't. Split up into a two part series, here are the things I don't like about having braces:

1. the sheer fact of having metal on my teeth

2. constantly digging food out of my braces with my tongue

3. the hefty pricetag

4. having a perpetually tense mouth

5. not knowing how to smile anymore

6. waiting at the orthodontist's office with a room full of kids under 14

7. having my lips stuck to my braces when I wake up in the morning

8. feeling guilty about not brushing/flossing my teeth enough

9. getting food stuck in my teeth/braces

10. not being able to eat everything I want to

Dr. Newman

2006-08-08T20:08:00.000-04:00

Another orthodontist's appointment today--only to arrive to a new doctor...Dr. Newman. Not a replacement, but an addition to the cramped office that already has three assistants and one receptionist.

I was lying down waiting for poking, prodding and tightening, when Dr. Newman slid his chair up next to me and offered his hand. He's young and cute and I'm totally embarrassed having to "open wide" so that he can check out the damage. As we're talking about how my summer is going, I decide to ask him about the "shaving between the teeth" thing. I mean, really, it was supposed to have happened last month, but a word wasn't mentioned--and I just want to have straight teeth already! Dr. Newman explained to me that in the process of having braces my teeth may shift naturally and have ample space--and that maybe I don't need the shaving thing anymore. But he says, "Let me take a look." Pause. "Oh, yeah...Dr. M we're going to need to do IPR (or whatever he said). Come take a look."

Great. I had to open my big mouth. But, seriously--if I hadn't said anything, would it have been business as usual? Tightening the wires and off I go?

Before IPR can take place, I needed to get "spacers" put between my teeth. In the process of Dr. Newman putting in the small plastic spacers, I started to bleed since it was basically these little plastic things moving back and forth against my gums. Yeah, real attractive.

I have to go back next week to get the spacers out and the IPR done. The sad thing is that next week is my "vacation." I'm not going anywhere, but I'm just taking a much-needed break from work. And I have to go into the orthodontist's! It happens to be on the same day that I'm going to Bliss to get some waxing done. At least I get all the painful things out of the way in one shot!

More AWB Sightings

2006-08-06T20:19:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went wedding dress shopping with some friends...(and, no, not for me). While in a small dress boutique in the East Village, my friend said, "Brandy, there's an AWB in the back of the store." Sure enough, the mom of the girl trying on wedding dresses had braces. Maybe she wants to look good for the wedding pictures!

Later in the day I popped into the Walgreens in Union Square. As an AWB you always need your toothbrush and a supply of toothpaste on hand and I had run out of my travel toothpaste, so I was in to pick up more.

On a side note--as I went through the revolving doors, Bernadette Peters was coming out (it's always a shock when you see someone famous in such an ordinary place). I don't think she's an AWB, though she'd probably be able to pull off braces fabulously.

After a few seconds I was able to pull myself together and head to the toothpaste aisle. I ended up choosing the 2-in-1 toothpaste/mouthwash with oxygenating bubbles--hey, why not be adventurous, right? I walked up to the cashier and there she was...full on braces. I had the impulse to try to get into another line. It was a little weird being so close to an AWB, especially since I was buying toothpaste. For some reason I tried to keep my mouth as closed as possible, but I could tell for a split second she noticed. I'm not sure why I was so nervous or embarrassed...maybe it was simply because I wanted to buy my AWB supplies anonymously and I felt like I was being found out.

When the day was over, though, I was excited thinking about the prospect of my own wedding someday and how I'll be able to smile without being self-conscious. What is the saying? A picture is worth a thousand words?

There's Something Different About You

2006-08-02T21:04:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I had dinner with cute architect boy ("cab"). We went to a Malaysian restaurant in Little Italy--his suggestion. Since half the menu items said "Please ask your server for advise (sic) before ordering this," I asked cab to order for me. After ordering a fairly tame meal, he said to me, "You have clear braces on the top and silver on the bottom."

Is he just noticing this? I thought to myself.

Is the lighting in here brighter than normal? I pondered, looking around the restaurant.

I said, Yes I do.

Then he asked me to smile because he wanted to see.

I told him I would only let him see when the lights were turned out and his eyes were closed. And since I agreed to a restaurant with chicken feet and pork intestines, he agreed that this was a fair deal. I managed to get some gelato out of him as well--we were in Little Italy after all...

We've Got Magic To Do

2006-07-25T13:28:00.000-04:00

Well, it's official, ladies--men dig women with braces. It's a certifiable fact, and is following me everywhere. As you know by now, this has come as a complete shock to me. I was ready to settle for a year in hibernation.

A co-worker stopped me in the bathroom yesterday to say, "I have a great story for you. My friend just starting dating a girl from MySpace and she has braces. I told him that I worked with someone with braces and she's been getting so much male attention lately. He said he loves this girl's braces--that he thinks they're so sexy." Who would have thunk it?

What exactly is it about a metal mouth that turns men on? Is it the sexy schoolgirl mentality? Perhaps the vulnerability?...I may never know. But I am trying to enjoy every minute of it! There's, of course, cute architect boy, and in the past few months, a slew of men who've asked me out (I wasn't really interested, but flattered, nonetheless). I hate to say it, but it's the magic of the braces. I've started imagining life without braces and it's too much for me to bear right now....it only puts me in state of funk. So, I leave you with this--if you're thinking about getting braces, do it. It could change your life.

Getting used to this?

2006-07-19T16:17:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted in quite some time. Nothing postworthy seems to be happening...in terms of my braces, at least. Right now it's a bit of the same.

Since my gung-ho post about sending my pics out to agents...I have not lifted a finger. I did, however, go see a band play downtown last week and ended up talking to an actor who, without me mentioning it, said he would ask his agent if they were looking for anyone with braces. Score! A true testament to networking....

I have been seeing the cute architect boy for the past few months and still feel a little self-conscious about eating with him. One way or another, going out on a date always seems to involve food at some point. I've told him before to let me know if I have something in my braces, but it doesn't seem to help my anxiety in this arena. I always feel like I'm digging for things with my tongue when I eat, which is also probably not very attractive.

Last week I had another orthodontist's appointment. I thought they were going to shave a bit off my teeth this time, but it was never mentioned. I wasn't looking forward to it anyway, so I decided not to mention it either. Instead, they changed the wires--to heavier wires and finally attached my two lower back teeth to the wires as well. They hadn't done this until now because they were afraid that with the lighter wires, I may snap them as I was eating. With a trip to the orthodontist, without fail I spend at least a week with new "sores" (I hate that word!) in my mouth. While they're still there, I've grown accustomed to them now and they don't hurt as much as the first few days.

Oh, yeah, and paying for braces is not enjoyable either--I don't think I've mentioned that one yet! It's an investment, I know, and one I'm happy to make. But why is it that health/dental insurance doesn't pay for adult braces?

So, I guess that's it for now...I'm still here...my teeth are still moving.

AWB Sightings

2006-06-26T14:21:00.000-04:00

Over the last few months I can't get over how many adults with braces (AWBs) I've seen. There was one working at Victoria's Secret and I said to her, "Look, I have braces, too!" She smiled, but probably thought I was crazy. There were two AWBs in the same subway car one day--with me, that's three! I thought I had hit the jackpot. I was waiting in line at Starbucks and there were two "business professionals" in front of me. The woman turned slightly, I saw her profile, and then I saw silver glowing from her mouth. At first I thought I was seeing things, but, no, I readjusted my line of sight and, sure enough, the woman in the conservative business suit was officially an AWB.

There's something about seeing that shiny glimmer under someone's lips that makes me smile.

You should be in pictures

2006-06-21T14:55:00.000-04:00

with braces? I think I'm going to take the leap and see if there's a market out there in the film/tv/commercial/print world for adults with braces. I've been told I could even pass as a teenager, so it might come in handy.

A friend told me, though, that with the "clear" braces on top, I might be at a disadvantage since you can't see them as well. Man, should have gone for all silver!

My plan is to get a list of casting directors, take photos of myself with braces and send that along with my regular headshot. It can't hurt to try. Right? If nothing else, it could serve as my pre-preparation for when my braces do come off.

Let there be movement

2006-06-08T10:26:00.000-04:00

I had my monthly orthodontist appointment on Tuesday and the assistant and I concluded that a lot has been going on in my mouth over the last few months. My teeth are moving! I have definitely seen changes, but since I look at my teeth everyday, it doesn't really make an impact.

I tried taking photos of my teeth, but they don't really come out that well. What I've noticed so far--

less crowding in my bottom teeth--I definitely feel a difference when I run my tongue along the back of my teeth
when I first got my bottom braces, the wire running across my teeth was noticeably crooked and all over the place, but now it's much more subtle
my top two canines used to stick out and now they're in line with the rest of the teeth and seem to be slightly farther back in my mouth--when they stuck out, it emphasized their "pointyness" (if that's a word) and I always felt like they looked like vampire teeth, but I don't feel that way at all anymore
The major work to be done now is rotating the two incisors next to the canines--my orthodontist says that he'll work on that next time, which probably means shaving a very small amount between a few of my teeth to allow enough space for them to move
after my appointment, in which the wire was changed and some of the brackets were tightened, I've noticed a huge change in my "bite"--biting down feels very different. It used to be that I had a slight overbite (which I think a lot of people have), but now with teeth shifting, my top and bottom teeth seem more in alignment

I'd love to post some photos--if I'm brave enough and if I can somehow figure out how to take some non-blurry ones. I will soon be ready for my close-up!

Tinselteeth Tango

2006-06-04T13:14:00.000-04:00

I took my first tango class last week at Dance Manhattan. If you know me well, you know I've been wanting to learn the tango for a while now. The good thing about the class is that you don't need to arrive with a partner since you rotate partners throughout the class.

My second partner of the night introduced himself and then said, "You're not the only one in the class with braces." He then smiled with a full mouth of metal. It was a classic Sex and the City moment! Two people with braces trying to dance the tango...it makes me giggle!

Kissing With Braces: The Aftermath

2006-05-25T10:36:00.000-04:00

I have come to the conclusion that kissing with braces is not that much different than kissing without braces. They don't get in the way, lips don't get caught in the brackets...it's actually kind of disappointing!

I did get to say things like, "I've never kissed a boy with my braces before," which is certainly enticing. It suddenly dawned on me that, for men in their 30's, kissing a girl with braces can be a real turn on.

So, yes, to give an update on my last post, the cute architect boy did call. We did go out. Twice. We did kiss.

The only thing I noticed was that the next day it felt like there were railroad tracks running through the inside of my cheeks. Just a little sore. Though, a friend of mine mentioned that she always felt like her mouth was sore after kissing a new boy.

So, again, kissing with braces is no big deal.

Except that it's kissing.

Untitled #1

2006-05-08T14:43:00.000-04:00

I had been preparing a post called, "Braces, You're Bringing Me Down." The first day I got my braces I met up with a friend and said, "I feel like my life is on hold for the next year." I realized that didn't sound so good so then I said, "A few things are on hold for the next year." One of these things was the possibility of going out on a date. The thought of actually meeting a boy who was interested in me, with braces, seemed inconceivable.

But then this happened...

My amazing, lovely friend, "A" came to visit this weekend from Boston and we went out Saturday night to my local bar in the 'hood. We were sitting at the bar when this guy came up to me and said, "Are you into heavy metal?" "Cute, real cute!" I said. But, seriously, he was really cute...well, sort of a "mature sexy" to be accurate. He was a gardener who spent half the year traveling to Africa to buy art. Intriguing, smooth, and really into my braces.

But it gets better...

The sexy African art dealer had a friend...who also thought I was cute with my braces. He told me I looked like I needed a fake ID to get into the bar and was surprised to hear my real age (listen, I'm surprised, too!). He was 32. A designer and architect who showed me renderings of his latest greenhouse design. I told him I just took a drawing class and that I had a knack for drawing boots. So, we drew boots together at the bar, talked about Italy (where his parents live) and tango dancing. He told me that even with the braces I was beautiful.

It is quite possible that maybe my braces aren't such a bad thing after all.

A "How-to" Primer

2006-04-24T22:43:00.000-04:00

Brushing my teeth. It's something I've been doing a lot lately. I'm getting more used to brushing my teeth in the bathroom at work. I even saw a woman today brushing her teeth in the bathroom--and she doesn't even have braces! One person commented to me, "I wish I were that diligent."

Getting braces has given me much more insight into taking care of my teeth. The thing is--sugar isn't the enemy. Time is. It isn't necessarily what you eat that causes cavities and plaque and tartar--it's how long the food stays on your teeth. It's a scary thought that when I get my braces off, I could actually have a lot of staining if I don't brush enough--and correctly. So, I'm trying to avoid that at all costs. I'm also trying to be a good little brusher and get into those gums! Speaking of, I should go brush my teeth right now before heading to bed. Sweet dreams!

America's Next Top Model Goes to the Dentist...

2006-04-19T21:19:00.000-04:00

...and it was horrific! Amazingly, a girl with crooked teeth made it into the top 10..and now top 5 or 6. So, while everyone else was getting their teeth whitened, she was going through this 12-hour procedure until 5 in the morning. Her teeth were not terrible--a little crowding and a Jewel snaggletooth is all. They ended up filing down 12 of her teeth. She had to spend the next day with these horrible pointy strips of teeth. Later that evening the dentist put on veneers. So, now she has a "perfect smile," but I wonder how this could have been allowed? It certainly can't be good for the health of her teeth and gums in the long run...I feel sort of stunned and upset about the whole thing!

Feel the fear...and do it anyway!

2006-04-17T14:50:00.000-04:00

This is the name of a book I stumbled upon a few months ago. It's about how we all experience fear--it's just that some people approach fear with power and others approach fear with paralysis or depression. Once you take action on something that you fear, you grow more confident and more powerful.

For years and years I've written in my journal how I wished I had straight teeth and my "to-do" list always had somewhere written on it, "get braces." And, yet, I procrastinated. I was so afraid. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of what other people would think or say. Afraid of what I would look like. Afraid of not being able to afford it. Afraid of not being able to get a date or find a boyfriend. Afraid of how it would affect my acting career. (Of course, those of you who know me also know that before braces, I hadn't auditioned for anything in nearly a year; I generally don't have that many dates anyway!; and that I was self-conscious of what I looked like before the braces.)

Now that I've checked "get braces" off on my to-do list, it seems so silly how long I had been paralyzed with fear. Now that I have them, I feel empowered. It wasn't such a big deal after all. It makes me want to re-visit my "to-do" list and do something else that I've been afraid of. Because, at this point, if I have the guts (as a single 29-year old woman) to get braces on my teeth, then I feel like I can do almost anything! Feel the fear...and do it anyway!

Almost Toothless...

2006-04-14T09:19:00.000-04:00

I got my bottom braces on Tuesday.

The orthodontist's assistant was doing something to my top braces--and it hurt! I was squirming in the chair it was that bad and generally I've been good with physical pain. She asked me if she was hurting me. I said, "Yes...but if I knew what you were doing, it might help." She said, "I'm trying to pull your tooth out."

Wait!

What?!

The orthodontist decided against pulling teeth! Didn't you read the file?

At that moment I had an idea of what it felt like to get the wrong leg amputated.

Then she said, "No, No, if I could pull your tooth out, I'd have fingers of gold. Girl, I'd have a lot of money right now."

Well, then, what exactly were you doing?

Free Stuff for the "Special Girl"

2006-04-11T08:23:00.000-04:00

Since getting braces, I've noticed that I've also been getting lucky (well, not that lucky!) But I do feel like someone is looking out for me--here are some of my treats:

One day at Starbucks I ordered my usual: iced grande soy chai. They made me a venti! Free chai--now that's just too much!

A Juan Valdez coffee shop opened up a few weeks ago in my building at work. Last week they were giving out free coffee everyday from 11AM-1PM. At first glance, this doesn't seem like a treat, especially since I don't like coffee. But, it turned out that they were giving away anything on the menu--in any size! They happen to have crazy concoctions there--like some sort of coffee-mango frappuccino thing. So, one day I got the coffee-mango thing--but hold the coffee! Another day I got a coffee milkshake (enough milk and sugar makes coffee delectable!). All for free!

And, now to the grand prize winner: I ordered some undies online at the Gap. I received my package(s) on Friday and they sent me double the order while only charging me once! So, now I have double the undies. Isn't life fabulous!

Losing Weight On Braces

2006-04-09T18:32:00.000-04:00

There might be a hole in my theory of weight loss with braces. I didn't count on the fact of replacing my usual lunch of salads and diet coke with mashed potatoes and macaroni & cheese. The initial five day experiment was great--a few smoothies a day and you feel svelte and amazing. But one cannot live on smoothie alone. But, luckily, in a few days I get on the bottom braces and I can cheerfully go back to smoothies and a flatter stomach. Boy, I can't wait until I can eat a french bread pizza again!

Yoga With Apples

2006-04-08T18:44:00.000-04:00

Today I went to yoga class--as a student--and we did a yoga set with apples (yes, using them like a prop!). I love this set and actually taught it for my Valentine's Day class. The best part about it is that one of the "exercises" is to actually eat your apple. But, alas, all I could do is hold mine in my hands, while listening to the sound of crunchy apples around me. Perhaps I will saute mine in a little butter and top it with some vanilla ice cream.

My smile is shy like a kitten

2006-04-06T23:01:00.000-04:00

What is yours?

Coming Out, Part 2

2006-04-04T20:40:00.000-04:00

Today was week 2 in my "teaching yoga with braces" experience. Still not 100% articulate, but I'm finding that I'm much more comfortable and not so worried about what other people think, or if they know.

After class we have yogi tea, which is really delicious--and so lovely after yoga class, whether as a student or teacher. But, alas, no tea for me...unless it's through a straw...due to the possible staining factor of the ceramic brackets. Everyone was talking about how especially wonderful the tea was today. The receptionist/studio manager (who made the tea) said that she had two mug-fuls, which is rare for her because after making a huge pot, the last thing she wants to do is drink any of it. So I said that I couldn't have any because of the braces, and, to my surprise, my students were shocked that I had braces. They didn't even notice. The girl who's a regular said, "Wow, you're going to be a knock-out!" To which I replied, "Yes, I'd like to think so..."

Coming Out

2006-03-31T11:17:00.000-05:00

I was talking to a few friends last night about "coming out of the braces closet." How do I tell people that I have braces? Or should I tell them at all?

Tuesday was the first day I taught yoga with my new braces. My objective: to explain as much as I could in as few words as possible. The problem was that up until that point I hadn't had to do much public speaking and I hadn't practiced as thoroughly as I should have. I tried practicing reading aloud, but quickly stopped that as I didn't like what I was hearing! So, there I was trying to be soothing and uplifting with my slurred and lisping speech. I was tempted to say, "Welcome, everyone, Sat Nam, I have braces." But, I decided against that--mainly because once you point something like that out, it becomes more of a focus than it was originally. Luckily, I drew upon my yoga "wisdom" to realize that the class is about your own experience as a student and, in the end, has nothing to do with the teacher. The teacher only facilitates the process. In this case, I happened to be a teacher with a lisp. I have one student who has been in every single class since I started in October. I wouldn't say we're friends, but we definitely have gotten to know each other over the past 6 months. But, I know that, to her, I am still her teacher. She always seems amazed and excited when I take class as a student. I think because of that relationship, I refrained from "coming out" with the self-concious statement, "I have braces." Maybe she noticed, maybe she didn't. She didn't say anything and neither did I.

Later that day, I had a meeting with someone I am going to be doing some freelance work for. I've worked with him before, so we were chatting about the project. He asked me, "What's new?" I immediately said, "Well, I got braces." I felt like I had to clear that up right away--this is why I've spent the last 30 minutes talking this way. It's not me, it's the braces. Again, another person who said, "I didn't even realize," and "I never noticed anything wrong with your teeth." To which, I replied, "I've been getting that a lot lately." Just as I blew up the state of my crooked teeth, maybe, too, I am blowing up the state of having braces.

La Traviata

2006-03-31T07:17:00.000-05:00

I bet you didn't realize that this was a blog about food...

Last night I went with a friend to La Traviata in Brooklyn. It was very spontaneous, as I had already planned my meal of mashed potatoes (homemade!), mac & cheese and creamed corn. But, hey, no better time than the present to venture into the world of eating out. I had very delicious and mushy white bean and escarole soup and very soft sweet potato fries with a glass of white wine. Because of the escarole I was terrified the whole night that I had big green chunks stuck in my braces, but was afraid to ask. At the end of the night I went to the bathroom and lo and behold--nothing. My braces were perfectly clean. I think next time I go out, I may have to make an announcement at the beginning: "If I have anything in my braces, please don't be afraid to tell me." Of course, I think that goes for people without braces, too. Why is it that people are so afraid of telling someone they have something stuck between their teeth?

"You're not your usual smiling self today"

2006-03-27T19:16:00.000-05:00

I've been getting this a lot lately. Most people think I'm just not feeling well. So, what's the protocol about telling people you have braces? I told several people at work that I was getting braces, but I didn't send out an office-wide email or anything. I just can't smile the same way that I used to. It's either all or nothing now. When I'm talking to people, mostly I've been trying to hide it--trying to speak without opening my mouth so much. Today I was talking to this girl in the office who's been temping here for the last month or so. She asked me whether I was feeling better. So, I finally just told her, "I got braces last week." To my dismay, she said she didn't even notice that there was something wrong with my teeth. Another person who never noticed? I told her that they're really crooked and she said, "Oh, that's funny, I didn't notice them at all." Granted, she's only seen me for the past month and we usually just chat for a few minutes. I mean, everyday for the past 15-20 years I have thought about how awful my teeth are--was it all in in my head? Or maybe I just did a good job at hiding them.

I feel faint

2006-03-27T19:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I almost fainted--most likely from lack of food. I just haven't been eating enough. I had a smoothie (again) for breakfast and didn't end up eating anything until 3:30 that afternoon. At that point I got really light-headed and felt a little nauseous. So...today I tried eggs for breakfast; mashed potatoes, mac & cheese and yams for lunch; orange-veggie blend juice for snack; and salmon and bean salad for dinner. It still isn't quite the same amount of food I'm used to eating, but I think it may ward off dizzy spells!

Having Second Thoughts

2006-03-26T09:48:00.000-05:00

I went to a yoga workshop yesterday and one of the other teachers at my studio asked me why I got braces. I told her that it was something I've always wanted to do and that I want a beautiful smile. She then told me how much she loved my teeth and how cute she thought my smile was. Come to think of it, several people have told me that they think my teeth are cute. I was acting in a play a few years ago and I mentioned in my dressing room that I wanted to get braces. My dresser said that she thought my teeth were so cute and that she wished she had my smile. (I never understood that!) When I mentioned that I wanted to get my teeth straightened to a boy I was dating he told me that he loved my teeth. Of course, when you're enamored with someone, you tend to love everything about them--especially their quirks (at least in the beginning). So now I'm wondering that this whole time when I felt self-conscious about my teeth, did people really like my smile? Did they not even care or notice? Did I blow it up so big in my mind that I projected it on everyone I met? Maybe my smile is cute after all. What if I don't recognize or even like myself with straight teeth? What if I miss my "quirky, cute" teeth?

Oatmeal

2006-03-26T09:42:00.000-05:00

Oatmeal is also a good food to eat. Though, as I discovered this morning when I went to brush my teeth, oatmeal is also best eaten in private!

Food

2006-03-24T21:08:00.000-05:00

So I guess the main thing preoccupying me now (besides the pain, discomfort, and inability to say any word that has an "s" in it) is food. What can I eat? Well, here's what I can't eat:

Anything hard--like cookies, rolls, crackers, pizza crust
Anything chewy
Candy
Red wine (stains the ceramic brackets)
Tea/coffee (ditto...my teapots are going to be very lonely this year!)
Tomato sauce (ditto)

At this point in the treatment--day 3--I have had smoothies for breakfast from the GNC store on my way to work. Though, today I had a high-protein smoothie and the person making it convinced me that I needed a multi-vitamin thrown in. And now all day my pee has been flourescent yellow. I think for next week I'll stick with Caribbean Blast. For lunch I've discovered mashed potatoes and very soft melt-in-your-mouth yams. Last night I went out with a few friends for dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and the only thing on the menu that I could eat was the smashed pea and barley soup. Without braces I never would have ordered this. Ever. I've never tried split pea soup and I've never wanted to. The name alone is unappetizing. But, that was my only choice. And, amazingly, it was really good. Really good. In fact, I bought two cans of split pea soup tonight--another food I can eat! One thing is for certain--my pants were fitting me a lot better today! This could be the best diet yet.

What's that on my teeth?

2006-03-24T16:45:00.000-05:00

I got my braces on Wednesday morning. The orthodontist's assistant put me in a chair and placed this huge contraption in my mouth. There was even a place for my tongue to fit into. They needed to get my teeth as dry as possible, so lips and tongue had to be far out of the way. She painted on all this gunk onto my teeth and then put a rubbery-looking mold on my teeth for 5 minutes. While I was hanging out looking gorgeous, she pulled out a Looney Toons bag with loads of "fun stuff" like a toothbrush and braces wax and a big magnet that says "what not to eat." When she took the mold off, I felt this hard gunk on my teeth. I thought it was the glue. I said, "What's that on my teeth?" She told me they were the braces. At that moment I felt a wave of horror run through me. This is what I'm going to be feeling under my lips for a year? How could they be the braces when I've barely seen the orthodontist? Dr. M put the wire through the brackets and I was all set. I was offered some Advil. When I said that I was feeling fine, they said that I should take it--that I would need it. A sign for the next few days...The funny thing is that I only got the top done--I get the bottom on in 3 weeks!

While this was all happening, there was a teenage boy in the other room getting his braces off. His teeth looked great!

It's time to go back to high school

2006-03-24T15:45:00.000-05:00

When I was 14 years old the one and only thing on my Christmas list was "Braces." I figured that if that's all I put down, I would surely get it. I got a jean purse and some perfume instead. Tons of people I went to school with had braces. I was different. This is the time I learned to smile and laugh with my mouth closed. I have loads of pictures from high school and in every one of them I am the girl with her mouth closed. People made comments on my tense mouth, but, hey, it was better than showing my teeth! Especially since they made comments about my teeth, too. One day during 10th grade math class we had to partner up and I was partnered up with Alan M.--a guy on the football team. We put our desks together facing each other and while we were waiting for instructions from the teacher, he said, "Are you going to get braces?" To be honest with you, I've blocked out my answer to him. Knowing me, I probably just shrugged my shoulders "I don't know" and looked down at the floor. Well, now I get to say to Alan M. and everyone else who wondered the same thing, 15 years after I wrote that Christmas list, "Yes, I am getting braces!" Here's to the beginning of a year as an adult with braces!